Tough Love

Remember the good old days? When times were tough, but people were tougher? Neither do I, but I have been told this my whole life. How many times have we heard the stories of when our parents were growing up they had to walk to school in ten feet of snow up hill, both ways? I always thought this was impressive considering my parents grew up in Florida.

Now I have a child and I find myself thinking that he has it so much easier than I ever did. My parents didn't bring me hot milk first thing in the morning. We didn't have a dvd player in the car, we had to bicker to amuse ourselves. However,I realize that is the goal of every parent to provide a better life than the one they had growing up. But, I am sure I am bordering on spoiling my child. It is so hard not to! He is so cute and sweet. I never knew love could exist like this. I am completely smitten with my only child. I don't consider this a flaw, per se.  But I can see how I might be disenfranchising my precious baby boy. He is a bit timid. I find myself having to encourage him to do the things most other kids do naturally.

Most boys are more than happy to climb on anything they can find, then at the highest point, jump off. Oh no, not by son! More than once I have tried to get him to jump off the sofa to no avail. He simply will sit down and slide off the edge. I know I should be happy about how cautious he is, but I am not. I want him to throw caution to the wind and go crazy!

To get back to the point. Let me set the scene. I was going to fix lunch and asked my son to get up on his stool. We have a table that is counter height. He is not able to use our chairs that we have because they spin. So, he sits on a stool with no back, but stationary. After lunch usually I wipe his hands and face with a wet cloth and help him get down. But not this day. No, I decided if he can get up on the stool by himself, then he can get down by himself. So I just stood there. I informed him if he wanted down then he was a big boy, just jump. That's tough love. He fussed for a bit, then realized I actually meant it. Then he did it! He jumped down! I was so excited, for a nanosecond. On his way down he hit his chin on the table and bit his lip. He screams, I panic. I gather him in my arms with his blood drooling out of his mouth. I was able to see that there was no permanent damage.  I now realize there is a reason he didn't want to jump down by himself, he couldn't. Tough love, yet another bad idea.